Timing's Everything
by Abster1
Summary: What happens when Ron's pants part company with his body again? Read and review please. Flames are welcomed at the door, and either given a cocked eyebrow, a tut, or a friendly smile depending on their content. Rating for lang y allusions made. Postmovie
1. Parting Company

A/N: This story's original main purpose was for me to get over a spite of writer's block I had regarding my sixth chapter of my KP story. I think my writer's block is gone, and now I think this story wants to exist to make me smile now - somehow it's like I've got a little inside joke with myself or something. shrug Either way, Read and Review please!

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"C'mon Kim! Stop pulling! I'm coming!" Ron Stoppable whined to his girlfriend, Kim Possible, as she was pulling him harshly out of the doorway while he was trying to take off his shoes. "You're gonna make me fall!"

"Aww. Poor baby," she mocked, sticking out her lower lip before she laughed.

He finally kicked off his shoe, and with a yank from Kim fell on his face, much to her amusement. "See what you made me do? That could've left a bruise."

In between giggles she managed out, "Yeah – right."

Setting his jaw and appearing angry Ron said, "Well your Mom _did_ just clean – I didn't want to make a mess." Having gained composure Kim managed to roll her eyes. Ron saw her, and a sudden idea came to him. He charged at her unexpectedly, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. Yelling profanities, threats, and the usual, Kim was carried at top speed all through the empty house. Empty living room, empty kitchen, empty bedroom, there's the kitchen again, empty bedroom, empty downstairs, empty upstairs.

Finally Ron halted in the living room, plopping Kim on the couch, and then lying on top of her. "You're mean," she pouted.

"No I'm not."

"Then what the hell was that?"

Smiling he said, "Retaliation."

"I wasn't that bad."

"Nope."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"It was fun." Kim rolled her eyes again at his idea of 'fun', carrying her all around her empty house unexpectedly. All of a sudden, Kim noticed that Ron's head was resting on her chest, and lower she noticed she was feeling parts of Ron she had never before, and it had an odd effect on her. At first she was freaked out, and then she felt a little bit awkward, but by the end of five seconds there was a feeling filling her body up that had never truly been there before.

Ron, lying on Kim, noticed these things too, and had almost the same reaction; except he hid his reactions a little more by pretending to be half-sleeping, half catching his breath. Seemingly instantaneous both locked eyes and then mouths together. Becoming lost in each other, neither noticed as Kim somehow ended up lying on Ron as they were on the floor next to the couch instead of on top of the couch. After a while Ron noticed his hand was up Kim's shirt and her hand was up his.

To save them from awkwardness when Ron broke their kissing spree; on a whim he picked up Kim again and ran her around the house much as before, except they both were laughing and he was going full speed. Stopping this time at the base of Kim's stairs, Ron dropped her gently on her feet.

Just then, Ron's pants crumpled to his feet. Yet before he could moan out the standard, 'Aww man.' Kim spoke up. "Leave 'em."

"What?" he asked, bewildered.

"C'mon." She took his hands and started to pull him upwards. Looking relatively lost, he started to climb after her, but after two slow steps it suddenly dawned on him. Replacing his befuddled expression was one of concern – which Kim returned with a reassuring smile, nodding and saying, "Just wait until you see what's in the drawer."

Ron never did get to moan his standard, 'Aww man.' Instead, both he _and_ Kim did a whole different type of moaning that night. "Yep," they'd say, "three months is an _incredible_ anniversary."

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A/N: Before you ask, NO! You cannot know what's in the drawer! Unless you've read 'Serendipity', (my other KP story) it which case you halfway know, and later you'll fully know. I think. I'm not sure how much I like this story; at this point it depends on when I re-read it. I'd really appreciate it if these people reading would go and review! When that happens the percentage that I might write some more fanfic goes up. Not to mention it's the weekend and I have nothing to do. Read and review please (negative, positive, your pick - s'long as it's honest.)! 


	2. Invasion

Author's Note: Believe it or not, I updated this story. The most surprising thing is... this story was supposed to be a ONE-SHOT, whose only purpose was that of alleviating writer's block. So if you like this second chapter (which I kinda do- the end part anyway. :-) ) then you will have to thank the un-named person who made me realize my stupidity by asking for a second chapter. I also want to thank someone 'named' loser7. An excellent review that definitely made me want to write more. Hopefully this is qualifies as 'longer'. :-) This time however, any readers should not expect another chapter, because even though I could do more I'm choosing not too in favor of "Serendipity", my upcoming sister stories, my will - be 'That's So Raven' story(ies), and my other really long KP story. So you can look for those. Now enough of my blithering, read and review!

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Kim looked down at her computer's clock and smiled. 'Time to get up,' she thought, trying to get to her alarm clock before it went off. Somehow her blaring alarm always woke her brothers up too, and half the time she had to fight to get any hot water. She took advantage this morning, getting all the hot water she needed, using up all the bathroom space she wanted to get ready, and not until her breakfast was heating up did she venture into the tweebs' room. 

"Get up! Get up! Wake up or you might be late!" Kim yelled in her loudest cheerleader voice, making sure to be as close to both of them as possible. Jim and Tim jerked awake at the second 'get up!', but she was back in the kitchen before either of them could retaliate.

So as the twins rushed to get ready and her parents talked about work over their breakfast, Kim became very thoughtful. Hoping her good mood would last the whole day, and her energy wouldn't fade too drastically. She had woke up rather suddenly about three hours earlier, and having looked contentedly at her clock realized that not only was it four in the morning, but Ron was fast asleep right next to her. After managing to free herself from his protective grip she sat up. The real trouble turned out to be waking him up; she tried everything she knew and had ever heard of, and in the end he only woke up when she accidentally rolled him off the bed. Realizing what she had woken him up for he quickly got dressed, kissed her goodbye, and climbed out the window.

Kim watched him walking until she couldn't see him. Suddenly exhilarated, and unable to go back to bed, she listened intently to make sure everyone was still asleep before deciding what to do. In the darkness her computer blinked light her way, making her see her first option. Her diary. Normally she just wrote a sentence or two about her day, except when there was a major event. Well, last night definitely counted as a major event. Turning on her computer her hand fell to her new necklace - she needed to describe the entire romantic night - and did. It took her two and a half hours to do it, but she was detailed than ever, let alone in print.

At the kitchen table she was fingering her necklace as a red then green blur shot past her. Absentmindedly, Kim shifted her gaze towards the other side of the kitchen, where her eyes caught the clock. "Crap!" she jumped up and ran out the door, hating her high heels shoe decision all the way, when she crashed into someone outside the door. "Ron!" she started, about to tell him off for slowing her down when she saw his car behind him. "My knight in shining armor! And I thought I was going to be late!"

Ron smiled and shook his head. "No, just hop in." Kim did so willingly, and silently thanked whatever higher power made her boyfriend get a car in place of his moped. He climbed in and leaned toward her, giving her a short kiss. "Morning."

"Morning." she said, tilting her head so her hair hid her blushing face. On the way to school they made small talk, helped along by Rufus who seemed very keen on talking to Kim since he had been excluded from their date last night. So by the time first period rolled around, Kim was back to her happier self. Instead of studying like they should've been doing, Monique listened intently as Kim detailed practically everything that had happened the night before. But, she did spare her the details she didn't want or need to hear.

The rest of the day passed by peacefully, the awkwardness Kim had felt earlier was gone, cheerleading practice went smoothly, and at the end of the day she had no homework. Walking into her house she kicked off her shoes, planning to celebrate her good fortune with some Internet shopping. Making her way upstairs she saw her brothers and noticed they were staring at a computer screen. In her bewilderment she stopped. Jim and Tim Possible were never seen just staring at a computer screen; either they were fighting in front of it, or they were working intently on something with it, so Kim was a little concerned.

She was about to say something, but her curiosity got the better of her; so to actually see the screen she decided to sneak up on them. Quiet as a ninja she crept towards them, and as she got closer she saw that they were reading something. Another thing she couldn't believe she hadn't seen was the look of horror on both faces. One step closer and she could read what it said.

Kim saw one phrase jump out at her, it said: "We both were just lying there trying to catch our breath when I realized what just happened." Her mouth dropped open at the fifth word, everything clicked into place, the horror-struck looks, the reading. She knew exactly what the twins were looking at because she herself had written it a little over twelve hours ago.

Tim, having just finished reading the most disgusting thing he was ever likely to read, was sitting dumbstruck when he thought he heard something behind him. Jim let out a "Wow," and his brother turned to look at him.

"No kidding." Kim said, standing with her hands on her hips. The twins froze, and turned around in their seats for a second - just long enough for her to scream, "Tweebs!" Before chasing her brothers she took a brief moment to close out of the program showing her diary's contents to the entire world. First she ran after the red blur (Jim) and when she had pinned him down he got tied to a kitchen chair. Tim was seen running towards the entranceway when Ron stepped through it, stopping him in his tracks.

"Aaah!" He turned to run the other way, but Kim had gotten the second she needed, and he was cornered.

"How much did you read?" she yelled, red in the face. Before Tim could mumble out his answer Jim came from behind and jumped on Kim. There was a brief struggle in which Kim ended up pinning Jim to the ground and Ron had to restrain Tim so he wouldn't be able to help Jim. She started to repeat her question, "How much-"

"Kim!" she looked up to see her mother standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips and a stern look on he face. "Why are you attacking your brothers? You know we told you no hand on hand combat with them."

Kim stayed where she was, pinning Jim down, even though Ron had let Tim go. "These tweebs hacked into my diary, and I want to know how much they read."

There were a few seconds where no one spoke. Then Tim cleared his throat, "All of it," he said in a timid voice. She jumped up, a horrified look on her face. "Please don't hurt me," he said, backing into the wall.

Mrs. Possible cut in with, "Everybody freeze. Kimmie, why is this different from the other times they've gotten into your diary?"

Kim had to take a deep breath before answering, "It's different because it wasn't the usual, 'Tonight I went out with Ron we had a smoothie, saved the world from Drakken, and Bonnie was being a biatch.' diary entry. I wrote at least three pages -"

"Four." Jim said.

"What?"

"You wrote at least four pages."

She waved her hand, dismissing the comment, "Whatever. I wrote a lot. I went into detail about stuff that I don't even want to tell Monique."

"Well that still doesn't mean you can attack your brothers. Jim, Tim, you're both grounded for a week. Kim, with the exception of a mission and school, you're not allowed to leave the house for the next 48 hours. So Ron - you'll have to leave." Dr. Possible said all this as if she was a judge handing out sentences, and the perpetrators accepted their sentences with a nod. She added, "Now can everyone live with that?" There was nodding and mumbling -which she took as a 'yes'. "Good."

Just as everyone was about to go his or her separate ways Kim spoke again, calm - but still angry. "Why didn't you stop reading? I mean it's not like you wanted to read that. Did you?"

"No we didn't want to read it!" Jim burst out, "Once we saw how mushy and disgusting it was we wanted to stop."

"But we couldn't." Tim finished, and then continued. "It was like a book you can't put down y'know? A creepy, bizarre, disturbing, scariest thing you ever read..." he trailed off, his eyes bulging, looking the part of someone who's just seen a ghost.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. From what I just heard, I think I know what you wrote Kimberly Anne." Dr. Possible said.

"Oh really? What's that?" Kim said, putting on her innocent face.

"Yes really. Disturbing to the twins? Embarrassing for you? Details no one should know about? Kim. I'm not an idiot. You and Ron slept together."

Ron looked up at his name and decided, "Well I think it's time for me to go."

He didn't make it a step past Mrs. Possible. "You're going to stay just a little bit longer here with me and Kimmie," she stated with Ron under her arm. Both teens looked scared as they were steered into the kitchen. Meanwhile, the twins fled the scene, running to their room and slamming the door.

"Mrs. Dr. P. please, whatever you do - don't tell Mr. Dr. P. I don't wanna be shot into a black hole," Ron pleaded as he sat down.

Mrs. Possible just shook her head and sat across from them. "It's my responsibility as a mother to talk to you about this. Did you use protection?"

"Mom!" Kim burst out, burying her head in her hands.

"Simple question. Yes or no."

Taking over, Ron spoke for Kim, "Yes."

"Thank you, Ron. Are you planning on doing it again?"

"I don't know Mom!" Kim cried in exasperation. "It just happened! We weren't planning on it! We're not planning anything now!"

"Well you should think ahead. Do you want me to put you on the pill?"

She considered for a second then answered, "That would be nice."

"Okay. I'll take you to the doctor and pick up your prescription so your father doesn't know." Kim looked like she wanted to say something, but she cut her off. "No I can't write it for you. I'm a Nero-surgeon, not only would it look weird but we actually need to check with your doctor." Kim nodded her head, accepting her fate. "And just because you're on the pill doesn't mean you don't have to use a condom. You do."

"We know Mom. We're not stupid."

Ron added, "Yeah Mrs. Possible. Even I knew that."

She broke into a smile and continued, "It doesn't hurt to make sure." She then dropped her business-like tone and went on, "I'm not happy about this at all, so don't think I am. But it's my job as your mother to keep you informed about these things. Although -- I am glad it was with Ron, somebody you love and have known for a long time. I mean even our whole family knows him really well."

Ron cut in, saying, "And my whole family knows Kim really well too."

"My point exactly. But you're still teenagers and anything can happen. I just want you to be safe. I'm still too young to be a grandmother." Everybody grinned at her last remark and they all stood, realizing that they were done with that particular conversation. "Ron - now I think its time for you to go. Say goodbye, and Kim, I'll be in the den."

As Mrs. Possible walked the other way Ron kissed Kim goodbye and muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

In reply she muttered, " I'm hoping for someone to be in big trouble so we can go save their ass."

When their goodbyes were said Kim walked into the den and found her mother lounging on the couch practically glowing. "Kim, I just have to ask one more question. You did enjoy yourself didn't you? Last night?"

She took a second or so to fully comprehend what her mother was asking her, and when she did she gasped. "Mom! That is where I draw the line. The other stuff was reasonable and called for - but this - it's - it's - un-called for!"

Mrs. Possible just nodded, "Okay, okay. That's where the line's drawn. But if you ever want to talk I'm here."

"Well thanks." She started walking towards her room, but at the base of the stairs she turned and said, "And yes I did. We both did. It was very... enjoyable." With that she sprinted up the stairs leaving her Mom smiling. At least she had gotten something through to one of her children.

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A/N: I hope y'all liked it. I always enjoyed picturing that scenario (the tweebs part anyway) and the rest just came to me and out of my pen and the chapter just never seemed to stop. Now review! Please. :-) 


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